30 Lessons Learned in 30 Years

I. am. 30. Wow! I feel like I’ve been 30 for way longer than a few days…probably because most of my friends are older than me, so I’d gotten used to saying, “Well I’m basically 30!” for the past 2 years and some change. But, I’m finally here! It’s always been a birthday I looked forward to – despite my original plans being ruined by Covid 19, I am lucky enough to have the world’s most amazing friends and family who helped me celebrate from near and far. I was able to enjoy brunch with a few girlfriends and then had a *super classy* 90s themed beer fest party 🙂 It was honestly one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had – I feel so b l e s s e d. Anyways, who turns 30 and doesn’t look back on all of the life lessons they learned over the years?? It’s most certainly a right of passage. I’ve been thinking about my list for years, adding to it in my head as I stumbled, fell, and picked myself back up. Here is my very personal, meaningful, crucial list of 30 lessons learned in 30 years:

1. Drink more water. It took me way too long to listen to my body and learn to treat it right. I’ve always been a terrible water-drinker (it’s just so boooooring) but this year I began starting my morning with a 20oz water that I drink on my way to school. What. a. difference! I feel so much more calm, hydrated (duh), and my stomach feels normal and less upset when I start my morning this way. If you’re like me and hate drinking water, try mixing Liquid I.V. into it – it gives you flavor but also an added hydration boost (which us non-water-drinkers desperately need). You can use my code THEBELLEOFTHEBUDGET for 25% off!
2. It’s never too early to invest in your skincare routine. Y’all – I can’t stress this enough. I remember a friend in college mentioning that she had just started using wrinkle cream. I though she was crazy. But skincare is best done as a preventative – not a “fix” or solution. Start early with affordable products to test a bunch out and see what works best for your skin. You can always graduate to more pricey items once you know what you like! But never stop exploring; there’s always something new out there to test out. My recommendations for beginners are rosehip oil – a great introduction to the world of face oils (this one is super affordable), self-tanner (you won’t believe what a difference protecting your skin from the sun makes), a multi-purpose face lotion with spf, and a skincare tool to strip, replenish, and resurface your skin for a fresh, youthful look.
3. You don’t have to spend a ton of $$ to look chic. This goes without saying – if you’ve found my page, you know I’m all about classy and trendy looks for less. Visit my favorite retailers tab to shop some of my preferred stores.
4. Dry shampoo will change your life. It also saves you time and keeps your hair healthy. I keep extras all throughout my house, in my luggage, and in my desk at school. This one actually cleans your hair by removing oil and dirt, instead of covering it up like other brands, which is why it’s a bit more $$ but worth every penny.
5. Work out in the morning. Even if you’re not a morning person (raises hand) I swear by getting your workout in in the morning. It leaves you feeling ready to tackle the work day and energized for whatever comes your way. Plus, you now have the flexibility to attend a last-minute goodbye party or happy hour with the girls, and no risk of coming up with an excuse or being too tired to exercise after a long day of work.
6. Smile! The rest of the world will wonder what you’re thinking about & be intrigued. When I was single I used to hold in a smile if I was waiting for someone and found myself all alone – how awkward?! Who wants to talk to a girl who looks miserable?? You seem far more approachable and happy when you smile 🙂
7. Travel. Buy the ticket, book the hotel, commit to an adventure. I’ve never regretted a single trip I’ve taken despite my age, the group I went with, or my financial status at the time.
8. If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make an effort. It’s as simple as that. But remember that the effort needs to be mutual.
9. Celebrate the small things. Celebrating the big moments is great, but don’t forget to relish in the small victories too. They are more frequent to come by so you’ll feel consistently proud & happy if you do.
10. Keep a stash of cards at home. On theme with lesson #9, I only recently started doing this and it has made a huge difference. I am always prepared to give out a birthday card for someone I may have forgotten or write a “thank you” note for someone who helped me.
11. There are few things exercise, sunshine, Starbucks, & Target can’t fix. There are days where a dark cloud hangs over my head and it can be very hard to overcome. You’re allowed to have days where you feel down or sad, but we’re all happier the less we have to deal with them. I’ve learned that there are things I can do and places I can go that always make me happy. Figure out what yours are and on a day when you’re feeling down, treat yourself to those things.
12. Get to know your parents & grandparents. They’re people too, who have a history and many incredible stories to share and are always happy to relive them with you if you just ask. You never know what you’ll discover, like finding out there used to be a city in Texas named after your ancestors!
13. Making friends as an adult is hard. Hold onto the golden friendships you have tightly, and don’t be afraid to attempt to make new ones. If you find yourself in a new place (physically or mentally) and in need of new friends, try meeting people at places you personally enjoy to find someone with a mutual interest (a brewery, dog park, running trail, gym, etc.) or ask a coworker to get a group together for happy hour!
14. Compliment strangers. I used to find myself thinking something about someone and never sharing it with them. But can we all agree that a compliment from a stranger (or really from anyone) can completely make your day?? When someone compliments my outfit I hold onto that for the rest of the day, and when my day has been lousy, it can really turn my attitude around. So, if you think it, say it. You never know how badly someone may need to hear it.
15. If you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life (okay, maybe a few). I can’t express this enough. It took me nearly a decade to change careers from something I thought I’d like and had dedicated by Bachelors degree towards (marketing) to something that brings me joy (teaching). If your career of choice makes you drag your feet on your way out of bed and to work, consider other options. Life is way too short and there are too many opportunities out there to stay put at a job or in a relationship that doesn’t serve you. If you’re curious about how I made the switch, check out the “teacher life” story highlight on my Instagram!
16. Know yourself & your partner. Knowing your love languages (how you receive and show love – they can be different) is so critical for proper “love communication”. For understanding each other’s personalities, I cannot recommend taking the Enneagram test enough; knowing what makes you tick and understanding your partner’s personality traits & communication style is unbelievably helpful in any relationship. *If you take the test, be as honest as you can about yourself. Don’t answer questions with the answer you hope or want to be, but who you truly are. Sometimes your answer will make you feel yucky – if so, you’re doing it right.
17. Don’t hide behind a screen – being hateful online is ugly. I used to think cyber-bullying was a thing for teenagers but oh how wrong I was. Since starting this blog I have seen some rude, judgey, and downright mean things said about myself or others online. If you think, even for a second, that what you’re about to say runs the risk of coming across wrong – don’t say it. Ask yourself, “How would I feel if I received the same message?” Saying hurtful things to or about someone (online or in person) says far more about you than it does about them. Hurt people hurt people, but that doesn’t make it okay.
18. Credit with caution. Be very, very careful with credit cards. It’s a slippery slope and so hard to get out of – I learned the hard way. As a young woman with a base-salary job and older friends who were easily able to go out for meals multiple times a week, I quickly dug myself into a hole that took years to pay off. I always told myself I’d cut back in the coming month(s) in order to pay off my debt, but there was always something that came up that I wanted to do that kept me from fulfilling those promises I’d made myself. So please, learn from my mistakes. If you already have some credit card debt, come up with a plan/monthly budget and stick to it. Don’t forget that your bank is full of people who are there to help. If you need advice on how to get started, reach out to them (or a financial advisor) to set up an appointment. It’s time to take the bull by the horns, and the sooner you do, the better!
19. You’ll never regret being kind or taking the high road. Sure, it’s easy to throw a low-blow or take a jab at someone when you’re arguing, but in my experience you’ll feel worse later on by succumbing to a moment of weakness. Take a breath, step back, and resist the urge. You want to reflect on your actions and words with pride instead of regret.
20. Life gets better with age. I genuinely mean that. The older you get, the less drama follows you and the more time you have for what you love. If you’re going through a rough patch, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
21. It’s OK if your circle of friends gets smaller as you get older, and it’s okay if you want it to. Cherish those expired friendships for what they were and move on. You don’t earn a medal for holding onto old friendships that no longer serve you – cut the slack. As you get older it becomes harder to put in meaningful time with everyone, so put effort into those that make you feel happy and support you through the peaks and valleys of life.
22. Change your perspective. As a highly empathetic and sensitive person, I’ve never felt like I had a difficult time with this one, but I realize that’s not very common. Considering the other side of an argument makes you a more compassionate, understanding individual. Remember: it’s not all about you – there’s two people’s feelings involved.
23. Fake it till you make it. It’s a term we’ve heard time and time again, but I never knew how true it was until the past few years. Struggling to find self-confidence? Fake it and strut your stuff like you own the place. Plaster your face with a big smile and watch your insecurities float away. Find yourself in a new job where you have no idea what you’re doing? Put on your big-girl pants, a power-stance, and work the room. Talk about the things you do know, and use the fear of the unknown as fuel for personal development. Eventually the things that you feel inadequate about will become things you’re confident in (take it from me – I tricked 132 8th graders into thinking I knew what I was doing this year – ha!)
24. Happiness and confidence are the two most beautiful traits a woman can have. Have you ever seen a woman smiling, looking confident, like she’s having the time of her life and thought, “Wow, she really needs to cover up that cellulite”? No. Do what makes you happy, because your happiness is beautiful. For me, I am very happy when wearing an outfit I love, hence this blog! If I love what I’m wearing, confidence comes along with it. But don’t get stuck on the items too much – it’s your beaming smile that looks best.
25. Don’t go to bed angry. I know everyone says this, but it’s so true. Talk about the issue at hand, own your part of the problem, and work it out. It’s too easy to let anger linger and eventually build into resentment. Lighten the weight on your shoulders by talking it out and know that you’ll grow stronger as a couple by understanding each other on a deeper level.
26. You can never take back the way you made someone feel. You can retract words, offer apologies, and take steps to move forward, but the way you make someone feel is permanent and unshakable. Be careful with others’ hearts. I’ve learned that while I can forgive, I can’t forget – that doesn’t make me a grudge-holder, it makes me human.
27. Stop assuming. Ask, get the facts, hold off on judgement. You truly have no idea what someone is going through or what their intent was – you’re not inside their head and you don’t know their life. 
28. Size doesn’t matter. I’m talking about that little tag inside of your jeans that no one in the world will see besides you. It took me years to explore sizes outside of what I thought I “needed” to wear. The result? Better fitting clothes that flatter my figure and a far more confident (and comfortable) me. Who the heck cares if I wear a size 14 shorts?? No one, and I mean NO ONE, knows or cares. Dress for your body type and open your mind to other options – you’ll be happily surprised by the outcome.
29. Be open about your expectations. This is tied with lesson #30 for the most crucial lesson for my personal happiness along with the longest it took to learn. Express your expectations. No one can read your mind, and if you think they can it’s an easy way to end up feeling let down. You can’t rightfully assign your feelings of disappointment onto others if they didn’t do what you hoped they would – they didn’t know. Speak up!
30. Learn how to say no. I am guilty of over-committing myself because I love to be there for those who need me. It’s taken me 30 years to realize that I am doing myself and them a disservice by overextending myself all of the time. When I say yes to everyone else, my own needs and health fall to the wayside, leading to exhaustion and even resentment at times. I’ve learned that it’s better to say no from the get-go than lead to the chance of disappointing someone or falling short down the road. This lesson is what lead me to my word of the year: intention. I have vowed to do all things with intention, to really listen to myself and my needs this year. So far, so good – I feel much less stress and pressure (which was my own doing) and am able to fully enjoy the moments that I get to spend with others.

I hope that by reading my 30 lessons learned in 30 years you’re able to learn from my mistakes, learn more about yourself, and lead a life you’re proud of. Life is truly too short to be unhappy. If any of these lessons really spoke to you, please let me know in the comments – I love hearing from you!! Cheers to the next 30, friends!

All is fair in love, war, and learning as we go,

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